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Last Bath :(

x-posted to equestrian 

Things have progressed much faster than anyone anticipated.  The cancer is pretty aggressive and covers almost his whole eye now.  It looks horrible and sore and weeps constantly (sorry if that's TMI).  He's also become very sensitive to the soft spot above his eye, leading the vet to believe that things might be spreading.
I had a long discussion with my vet and we decided that there is really nothing else that can be done.  On Monday I'll have to say goodbye to my first horse, and my best friend.  I couldn't really go near him for a couple of days.  I just wanted to avoid the whole situation.  But then I realized that it's not all going to disappear and I need some more good memories with him before he's gone.  He doesn't know anything is wrong...I'm the one that's hurting right now.  It's actually been really hard for me.

Yesterday I gave him a bath and I cried the whole time.  It almost looked like he was enjoying every drop of water as if he knew it would be his last bath.  He kept sighing heavily and and reaching for the hose.  After his bath I hand grazed him while he dried off.  He was so soft and smelled of the lemonade shampoo I bought for him at the Rolex last year.  It was a gorgeous day; sunny and warm - the wrong kind of day for the emotions I was feeling - but the perfect day for a bath.  I'm just absolutely gutted and my heart is broken. 
I took some pictures and I think I got a picture of what heaven will look like for Cooper:



Eating grass in the sun with his eyes closed.  It doesn't get much better than that.  I'll miss you so much Coops.

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